It is so easy as a mom/parent/caregiver to get caught in the comparison trap, comparing your child to other children or their siblings. Each child is unique and will do things on their own time! As hard as it is not to see another baby doing things that your baby isn’t or knowing that their sibling did “it” sooner, know that it is completely normal for each child to be different!
Use the milestones as a guide and if you have concerns go to your pediatrician they are the expert in that area! Know that milestones typically have a age range and it can be very broad, there is a reason for that!
As a newer mom of two when I was pregnant I wanted to do the best I could for Sawyer not compare him to Brooks and allow him to be unique and give him the time and space to do things in his own time! Sawyer definitely has done things on his own time and it has been very different than Brooks! AND that is okay!
Brooks was walking at 11 months, Sawyer is not walking yet and is a few days away from being 14 months. The norm for walking is by around 18 months. He is making progress and getting there again in his own time! It would be very easy to get caught in that comparison trap comparing him to Brooks or even other babies we are around that are already walking and are his age or younger! But when you refer to what the “norm” is and it says by 18 months it allows me to relax! This can be applied to sitting, crawling, and talking. And as kids get older: reading, academics, imagination, talents, skills, and so so much more!
Comparison leads to disappointment for us as parents and for the kids feeling like they aren’t measuring up! It turns things into a race and makes people rivals and could cause the kiddos to give up especially as they get older! When I was in the classroom I saw this time and time again when comparisons were done at school between classmates when teachers would compare students to each other.
I share this in hopes of encouraging you and allowing you to have some peace of mind knowing you do not have to be trapped in the space of comparison! Whether you are a first time mom or a mom of multiples refer to your pediatrician and the milestone guide as a resource and trust your instincts as well! When you find yourself in that space of comparison whether due to your own thoughts or because a family member, friend, or acquaintance made a comment or noticed something stop and ask yourself, “What is a truth? or something this child is really great at or is currently crushing?” This helps pull me out of that when I find myself comparing.
This episode of Bluey “Baby Race” is a GREAT reminder and has GREAT encouragement when you need it mama! You are doing GREAT, mama!