“Mom Guilt: It’s the idea or feeling, that as a mother you are being selfish by doing something for yourself. Somehow we discount all the other things we do for our family and only focus on the one thing we aren’t doing for our family and feel bad for it.” ~Caitlin Otwell from Soaringhigher.press
This quote really spoke to me as I was struggling with mom guilt! Why do we feel guilty so often? I do not know the answer to that but I hope by sharing my story it helps you know you are not alone and in that moment when you are taking time for yourself you know you will be better for it! Be confident in the decision to prioritize yourself mama!
A couple of weeks ago I told BJ after putting the boys to bed one night that the next day I needed to take some time, just me! Where there would be no expectations to talk to anyone! I delivered this REALLY POORLY pretty much just as he began talking to me, I just sort of blurted it out! It came across all wrong like I was telling him I didn’t want to talk to him… that was NOT my intention at all! It came out so quickly and at all the wrong time because I am awful at admitting I need a moment and asking for what I need! I had to hurry up and say it or I would talk myself out of it!
I immediately felt guilty and apologized to him for how it came off (that part definitely needed to happen!) but didn’t need the guilt! Then felt guilty again and began to cry after coming into our room and seeing our 10 month old asleep so peacefully! How could I possibly need time away from something so sweet and innocent??? Whew, the hormones and emotions that come with having babies is no joke!
I knew I needed to stand by my choice and take a break, I knew I would be better for it and after having some space could come back rejuvenated and recharged! Why does it hurt so much to need that space?
Being a mom is one of the greatest and toughest things I have ever done! It constantly has me looking for ways to be my best self and mom, ways that I can grow and improve! I am realizing this job is ever changing and that some days are better than others, that doesn’t make me a bad mom! We do a lot of apologizing around here on those not so good days: when I raise my voice, or am short-tempered!